8 Reasons to break up

8 Reasons to break up

Reasons to break up

What are the main Reasons to break up and can we avoid them?

This is the subject of this article.

1: infidelity

Infidelity is a Reasons to break up when there is discovery of the rose pot or when the partner prefers the lover than the boyfriend or husband.

It is a cause which itself has its various and varied causes: the need for new things, the search for lost confidence, and for some, the need to have several partners regularly.

Some believe that the concept of monogamous couple is the cause of infidelity and other ills of the couple. This is another subject which I will not deal with here. Reasons to break up

There is no silver bullet against infidelity but it can decrease the risk of this happening. Here are some tips:

·         Getting together: finding time to spend in pairs, especially when you have children, in order to find a bond and the intimacy of the beginning of the relationship.

·         Sexual openness: adopting practices that have never been practiced before. Because infidelity is often linked to a frustration of one of the partners

·         Sensuality: in order to seduce and charm your partner. Making love to make love is not enough. It is not a chore. There must be a desire and the challenge is to keep this desire from the beginning of the relationship.

2: incompatible characters

Reasons to break up: At the start of a relationship, incompatibilities are hidden by the feeling of love, but the deadline is only postponed. Living with someone who has insufferable character traits will regularly generate tension in the couple.

Example: A sloth with dynamics; a mess with a storage freak.

The only way to reduce this risk is not to go out with someone who has traits incompatible with ours and if you know in advance that this person will not change.

Then there are also the unbearable people (egotistical, narcissistic, haughty, or any other element that you will judge as unbearable or incompatible with a notion of couple).

We evolve but we don't change. At first you will find it cute or you will endure it but after several years you will be fed up. So better bet on the right horse from the start to avoid wasting time with someone who is not worth it or who does not suit you.

3: A difference of religion

Reasons to break up: Religion is like politics, it is a sensitive subject that must sometimes be avoided. But in a couple, you can't run away from it.

If you are a couple and come from very different and restrictive religions, a problem could appear very quickly. Whether on the subject of marriage or the education of children.

At the beginning of a relationship, we try not to ask questions but eluding the subject is useless because if we want to go further in the relationship, it will be necessary to address the subject at one time or another. And the sooner the better.

The questions are simple: what will be the impacts of these differences? Will one of the partners have to do certain things (example: convert)? And above all, who will make the effort?

There are of course certain religions which are more restrictive than others. If one of the partners wishes to make the effort out of Love, then it can be fine. The problem is if nobody wants to let go of anything.

4: The beautiful family

Reasons to break up

The problem linked to the families of a couple can have a strong impact, especially if the children (ie the couple's partners) have never really taken off when leaving the family home. Reasons to break up

A simple example: you are not appreciated by your beautiful mom. This feeling is or generally becomes reciprocal. Stepmother regularly makes remarks to her son, and so do you.

Either your partner can handle this situation and separate the feelings for his mother from the feelings for his partner; either it will be influenced and it will harm your relationship.

How to avoid this? By behaving properly on your side, by not criticizing your partner's family. In short, by being exemplary.

This does not cover all the risks. If your father-in-law or mother-in-law poses too many problems and his offspring cannot manage this, then there will be consequences for the couple.

In any case, you will have done your best. You will have nothing to regret, except to have chosen someone who was not mature enough or who had a beautiful problem family.

5: The arrival of a baby

Reasons to break up: The arrival of a baby within the couple is a happy but disturbing element. On the one hand, the short nights cause great fatigue and certain tensions can appear. We generally do not tolerate this lack of sleep and we sometimes become unpleasant with our partner.

Depending on the character of each partner and the feelings that bind the couple, this can lead to breakup.

Prepare yourselves. You know that this will upset your balance, that you will sleep less and that you have to make an effort. Plan what you will have to do when the baby arrives, try to organize yourself in advance by anticipating the impacts.

Read one of the reference books on the subject and which will prepare you. But beware: if your feelings for your partner are fragile, a child will only postpone the date of a breakup, it will not be a solution to your problems.

For women, you become a Mother but don't forget to remain a Woman.

6: different developments

Who can predict who we will be in 10 years? Our character traits are more or less stable over time. But our life aspirations, our way of life and our goals can change.

If these goals change, your daily life will change too. And if your partner is no longer in tune with you, then living together this future could be compromised.

However, we can anticipate what could be the future of someone. Example: if you are with a musician, that he is talented and that he really wants to succeed in his field, there are chances that his future includes concerts, tours far from you and above all a lot of meetings.

Even imagining it, you know that it is not what will keep you from being with him ... because you love him. We don't refuse to go out with someone because he may be famous in 10 years. But if that happens, don't be surprised.

7: The routine or wear of the couple

Reasons to break up

Reasons to break up: It is not necessarily linked to time. Some relationships fall into routine very quickly. It can also depend on our partner.

When one of the partners is bored in his life as a couple, it is better for him to have a group of friends with whom he goes out regularly (read the article to meet new people) or extra-professional activities such as sport, music, etc ...

This will keep him occupied, much like children can occupy a couple until they leave the family home, but that will not solve the problem.

The main risk is above all that he falls in love with someone else, someone who makes him relive the first moments of a relationship.

This is perhaps what is most lacking for some: they have Love but they want passion.

Everyone is different on this point but I do not think that we can provoke or restore passion to a couple who has worn out.

You have to know how to stay dynamic to a certain extent, in harmony with the other, and not rest on your laurels.

Nothing is ever acquired in a couple and it takes a lot of Love to compensate for the lack of passion.

8: an unbalanced relationship

Reasons to break up

I receive many comments and emails which point to certain problems:

·         he is not in love

·         he doesn't know what he wants

·         he makes no effort

You will understand, a relationship must go both ways to be balanced and it must of course make efforts.

The only way to avoid this is to plan for it as soon as possible from the start of the relationship. If you feel it won't do it, what's the point of continuing?

A relationship must be reciprocal and made of daily efforts. Is the person you have chosen capable of effort or is he only interested in his navel?

Sometimes you have to be able to make difficult short-term decisions to be happy in the medium or long term.

Make the good choice !

You should not be afraid to break up.

Conclusion

Certainly there are many Reasons to break up. And that's why there are so many ruptures.

But they can be offset by other things that I call the causes of the couple's success.

Among other things, you will need:

·         find someone "good" who suits you (you determine your criteria)

·         become his accomplice and enjoy sharing time with him

·         love him, esteem him, respect him

·         Communicate and behave in a sincere, honest and respectful manner

·         that the elements cited are reciprocal

It sounds simple but when you look at the number of partitions around us, you can see that it is not that easy…