8 Reasons to break up
8 Reasons to break up
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Reasons to break up |
What
are the main Reasons to break up and can we avoid
them?
This is the subject of this article.
1: infidelity
Infidelity is a Reasons to break up when
there is discovery of the rose pot or when the partner prefers the lover than
the boyfriend or husband.
It is a cause which itself has its various
and varied causes: the need for new things, the search for lost confidence, and
for some, the need to have several partners regularly.
Some believe that the concept of monogamous
couple is the cause of infidelity and other ills of the couple. This is
another subject which I will not deal with here. Reasons to break up
There is no silver bullet against
infidelity but it can decrease the risk of this happening. Here are some
tips:
·
Getting
together: finding time to spend in pairs, especially when you have children, in
order to find a bond and the intimacy of the beginning of the relationship.
·
Sexual
openness: adopting practices that have never been practiced
before. Because infidelity is often linked to a frustration of one of the
partners
·
Sensuality:
in order to seduce and charm your partner. Making love to make love is not
enough. It is not a chore. There must be a desire and the challenge
is to keep this desire from the beginning of the relationship.
2: incompatible characters
Reasons to break up: At the start of a relationship,
incompatibilities are hidden by the feeling of love, but the deadline is only
postponed. Living with someone who has insufferable character traits will
regularly generate tension in the couple.
Example: A sloth with dynamics; a mess
with a storage freak.
The only way to reduce this risk is not to
go out with someone who has traits incompatible with ours and if you know in
advance that this person will not change.
Then there are also the unbearable people
(egotistical, narcissistic, haughty, or any other element that you will judge
as unbearable or incompatible with a notion of couple).
We evolve but we don't change. At
first you will find it cute or you will endure it but after several years you
will be fed up. So better bet on the right horse from the start to avoid
wasting time with someone who is not worth it or who does not suit you.
3:
A
difference of religion
Reasons to break up: Religion is like politics, it is a
sensitive subject that must sometimes be avoided. But in a couple, you can't
run away from it.
If you are a couple and come from very
different and restrictive religions, a problem could appear very
quickly. Whether on the subject of marriage or the education of children.
At the beginning of a relationship, we try
not to ask questions but eluding the subject is useless because if we want to
go further in the relationship, it will be necessary to address the subject at
one time or another. And the sooner the better.
The questions are simple: what will be the
impacts of these differences? Will one of the partners have to do certain
things (example: convert)? And above all, who will make the effort?
There are of course certain religions which
are more restrictive than others. If one of the partners wishes to make
the effort out of Love, then it can be fine. The problem is if nobody
wants to let go of anything.
The problem linked to the families of a
couple can have a strong impact, especially if the children (ie the couple's
partners) have never really taken off when leaving the family home. Reasons to break up
A simple example: you are not appreciated
by your beautiful mom. This feeling is or generally becomes
reciprocal. Stepmother regularly makes remarks to her son, and so do you.
Either your partner can handle this
situation and separate the feelings for his mother from the feelings for his
partner; either it will be influenced and it will harm your relationship.
How to avoid this? By behaving
properly on your side, by not criticizing your partner's family. In short,
by being exemplary.
This does not cover all the risks. If
your father-in-law or mother-in-law poses too many problems and his offspring
cannot manage this, then there will be consequences for the couple.
In any case, you will have done your best. You
will have nothing to regret, except to have chosen someone who was not mature
enough or who had a beautiful problem family.
5: The arrival of a baby
Reasons to break up: The arrival of a baby within the couple is
a happy but disturbing element. On the one hand, the short nights cause
great fatigue and certain tensions can appear. We generally do not
tolerate this lack of sleep and we sometimes become unpleasant with our
partner.
Depending on the character of each partner
and the feelings that bind the couple, this can lead to breakup.
Prepare yourselves. You know that this
will upset your balance, that you will sleep less and that you have to make an
effort. Plan what you will have to do when the baby arrives, try to
organize yourself in advance by anticipating the impacts.
Read one of the reference books on the
subject and which will prepare you. But beware: if your feelings for your
partner are fragile, a child will only postpone the date of a breakup, it will
not be a solution to your problems.
For women, you become a Mother but don't
forget to remain a Woman.
6: different developments
Who can predict who we will be in 10
years? Our character traits are more or less stable over time. But
our life aspirations, our way of life and our goals can change.
If these goals change, your daily life will
change too. And if your partner is no longer in tune with you, then living
together this future could be compromised.
However, we can anticipate what could be
the future of someone. Example: if you are with a musician, that he is
talented and that he really wants to succeed in his field, there are chances
that his future includes concerts, tours far from you and above all a lot of
meetings.
Even imagining it, you know that it is not
what will keep you from being with him ... because you love him. We don't
refuse to go out with someone because he may be famous in 10 years. But if
that happens, don't be surprised.
Reasons to break up: It is not necessarily linked to
time. Some relationships fall into routine very quickly. It can also
depend on our partner.
When one of the partners is bored in his
life as a couple, it is better for him to have a group of friends with whom he
goes out regularly (read the article to meet new people) or extra-professional
activities such as sport, music, etc ...
This will keep him occupied, much like
children can occupy a couple until they leave the family home, but that will
not solve the problem.
The main risk is above all that he falls in
love with someone else, someone who makes him relive the first moments of a
relationship.
This is perhaps what is most lacking for
some: they have Love but they want passion.
Everyone is different on this point but I
do not think that we can provoke or restore passion to a couple who has worn
out.
You have to know how to stay dynamic to a
certain extent, in harmony with the other, and not rest on your laurels.
Nothing is ever acquired in a couple and it
takes a lot of Love to compensate for the lack of passion.
I
receive many comments and emails which point to certain problems:
·
he is not in love
·
he doesn't know what he wants
·
he
makes no effort
You
will understand, a relationship must go both ways to be balanced and it must of
course make efforts.
The
only way to avoid this is to plan for it as soon as possible from the start of
the relationship. If you feel it won't do it, what's the point of
continuing?
A
relationship must be reciprocal and made of daily efforts. Is the person
you have chosen capable of effort or is he only interested in his navel?
Sometimes
you have to be able to make difficult short-term decisions to be happy in the
medium or long term.
Make
the good choice !
You
should not be afraid to break up.
Conclusion
Certainly there are many Reasons
to break up. And
that's why there are so many ruptures.
But they can be offset by other things that
I call the causes of the couple's success.
Among other things, you will need:
·
find
someone "good" who suits you (you determine your criteria)
·
become
his accomplice and enjoy sharing time with him
·
love
him, esteem him, respect him
·
Communicate
and behave in a sincere, honest and respectful manner
·
that
the elements cited are reciprocal
It
sounds simple but when you look at the number of partitions around us, you can
see that it is not that easy…
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